In the past couple of weeks, I had the privilege of coaching two leaders preparing for high-stakes moments, one for a critical job interview, the other for a major presentation to an executive team.
Both showed up with the same question: “How do I manage my performance anxiety and communicate what I want to say clearly?”
It’s a question I hear often. Because when the stakes are high, our minds can race. Thoughts come thick and fast. What if I mess it up? What do they expect? Am I good enough? The mind fills with noise, and that noise drowns out our clarity.
What we did together wasn’t revolutionary. But it worked.
As we explored how they could show up grounded and at their best, three simple anchors emerged: Purpose. Prepare. Practice.
These weren’t just practical steps, they were tools to quiet a busy mind.
1. Purpose – Reconnect to why you’re really there.
This was the unlock.
When we stepped away from obsessing over the what: what to say, what others want to hear and turned instead to the why, something shifted.
Why is this important to you? Why are you showing up? What is the purpose of this conversation for both parties? Why does this matter beyond the outcome?
For both leaders, reconnecting with their purpose, whether it was about creating impact, sharing insight, or seeking growth, had a grounding effect. It quieted the noise. It reminded them that they weren’t there to prove themselves, but to contribute to a conversation.
From performing to presence. From anxiety to intention.
2. Prepare – Get clear on what matters.
Once the why was in place, the what became easier to shape.
We homed in on their key messages: What do you want them to remember? What do you want them to think, feel and do? What tone and energy will serve you best?
Preparation isn’t about memorising lines; it’s about being crystal clear on the impact you want to have. It means cutting through the mental clutter, setting aside everything you could say, and zeroing in on what truly matters. Getting the key messages down on paper helps focus your attention, so you can better focus theirs. This kind of clarity doesn’t come from overthinking, but from being deliberate, focused, and letting your common-sense lead.
3. Practice – Say it out loud.
Practice gets ideas out of your head and into the room.
They didn’t just sound more confident. They felt it.
Speaking thoughts aloud helps you hear what works, what needs refining, and where the energy lies. After our sessions, they each took time to practice. That act of getting the words out of their heads and into the room helped quiet the noise, and found more clarity and more calm.
But here’s the deeper truth.
These three steps Purpose, Prepare, Practice are helpful. But they’re also just a doorway.
What really helped these leaders was that, through using these anchors, their state of mind shifted. Their heads cleared. Their thinking settled. They stopped chasing the noise and started trusting their own inner intelligence.
And that’s the heart of it.
When our minds are cluttered, even the best strategies can feel overwhelming. But when we return to a settled mind, when we access that deeper, quieter place within, clarity shows up. Confidence follows. We don’t need to “perform.” We just show up, connected, and real.
These 3 P’s don’t work because they’re clever. They work because they bring us back to ourselves.
And here’s the good news: You don’t need these tools to access that space. The clearer mind is already available, beneath the noise, behind the overthinking. These tools simply point you toward it.
After their meetings, both leaders reached out to say: ”I was less nervous than I thought I would be", "It went well", "Once in there, I was not nervous at all."
And that’s what matters most. Not just delivering under pressure but showing up with clarity and presence. Being seen for who you really are.
Purpose. Prepare. Practice. are anchors for high-stakes moments, but also gentle reminders that your best thinking, your best self, is never far away.
If you would like to improve your high stakes performance, DM/Connect and we can explore how coaching can help.
Aroha, Judith
