Imposter Syndrome is a silent struggle that affects many, including myself and many clients I've coached. Despite evidence of competence and success, it can leave you feeling like a fraud, trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and hesitation. It’s a powerful force that holds us back—making us second-guess our abilities, stay quiet when we should speak up, and shy away from contributing our best ideas. With this in mind, I felt it was crucial to revisit this topic and share deeper insights into the truth behind this all-too-common experience.
My own imposter story started several years ago, when I returned from overseas to NZ and struggled badly with what I believed was Imposter Syndrome. I had started an exciting new role and on the face of it there was no reason for me to feel like an imposter. I had the skills, experience, and track record to be successful. But something was off. I couldn’t find my groove, and the more I tried, the worse the feelings of being an imposter got. I remember one senior leader saying to me, “Judith, why can't you just bring it,” meaning why was I holding back? I did not have an answer for him. It was very confusing to me. I was so overwhelmed that my brain had seized up in a fog of uncertainty. My initial plan was to push through, you know -fake it until I make it, thinking it would get better, but it didn’t. Then I tried different tactics to deal with my insecurity, which meant I was overpreparing, over analyzing and over researching everything. I was presenting myself as stiff, awkward, and less than effective, which only further fed the imposter thoughts and feelings of overwhelm. I had this deep sense of not being the real authentic me. The end result was I decided to move on from that role. It was the right decision, and I don’t regret it, as it was when I set up my executive coaching business. But I was still curious to know what had happened to me, why, having been so confident when I started, had things gotten so bad, that I lost myself?
What I’ve come to realise is that it wasn’t Imposter Syndrome I was suffering from at all. In fact, calling it a "syndrome" was a misunderstanding of something much simpler yet more insightful about the way my mind works. I was experiencing imposter thoughts and mistaking them for the truth. I believed I was insecure, so I felt insecure. But the reality was that I simply had insecure thoughts about not being good enough, and I fully identified with them. These thoughts built on each other, creating a false narrative that I began to accept as true. Looking back, this doesn’t make sense—some days, I performed tasks without any imposter thoughts, while on other days, I was overwhelmed by them. Additionally, I had a deep sense that I wasn’t being my authentic self but didn’t know how to reconnect with the real me. I couldn’t see it at the time, but now it’s clear that the variability of my thinking means these thoughts are not a reflection of who I am but rather a product of my mind doing what it does best: a whole lot of thinking.
I am now much wiser and onto the illusion that is created by the thoughts that are in my head. The best antidote I've found for when I notice imposter thoughts is to zoom out and observe my thoughts and feelings coming and going without identifying with them. The truth is thinking is an inherent part of being human just like breathing. Unfortunately we have not been taught to see our thinking that way and so our habits of thinking get stuck in our minds and we pay far too much attention to them. By not taking the thoughts seriously and seeing that they are changing all the time, I can gain a more objective perspective on my experience. This allows me to be curious about my thoughts and feelings and remember what they really are: transient mental events that come and go and are not who I really am.
Recently, I caught myself feeling like an imposter while consulting on a project. My mind was again full of insecure thoughts, making up a story about not being good enough to be on the project. My upset feelings were a valuable sign that my thoughts were getting the better of me. Fortunately, I listened to my feelings and recognised these thoughts as the imposters that they are. With that little bit of awareness and space, I could see I had misinterpreted something someone had said. If I hadn't noticed the imposter thoughts, I would have continued to believe my own story and struggled for a lot longer. Instead, I regained my bearings and allowed my natural wisdom to shine through and moved forward.
For my clients I help them to understand their imposter thoughts and that they are a completely natural experience, and can actually be a positive one. These thoughts and feelings are there to alert us to new or unfamiliar environments, making us more aware of our surroundings and encouraging us to listen to the wisdom our anxious feelings are pointing too. Much like stage nerves prepare us for a performance, imposter thinking readies us for new challenges. Instead of seeing these thoughts and feelings as a problem, we can view them as useful indicators that we are stepping into something new and important.
Our solution to overcoming Imposter Syndrome is surprisingly simple. Firstly, to understand that it is not a syndrome and not something we have to overcome, but just thoughts we are identifying with in a particular moment. When we look we see that imposter thoughts are variable and transient, and not a reflection of who we are, but rather a trick of the mind that has fooled us in the moment. Underneath these thoughts is who we truly are—curious, confident and competent. As human beings it's common for us to cloud our natural confidence with a lot of personal thinking about who we should be and what we should be doing. However, everyone can wake up to imposter thoughts when we realise that these thoughts are the imposter, not ourselves. This shift in perspective allows us to see the wisdom in these thoughts, alerting us to our situation, enabling us to regain our bearings, stop over identifying with the thoughts and recognise that they do not define us.
Aroha, Judith
